The Minnesota Farm Woman

Many years ago, HE took a travelling job with Florida East Coast Railway. We talked about it, and although it wouldn’t be a piece of cake with our husband and father gone through the week and home only on the weekends, the job was a good one, so we would muddle through. I muddled through half of the first day, until I discovered that while I was at work, our dog killed two rats in the back yard and rolled in the remains of her conquests. Let’s just agree that 90 degree Florida heat and the entrails of dead rats do not make a pleasant combination. I buried the victims, scrubbed the dog, scrubbed myself, and felt a bit of pride that I was able to handle the type of crisis that I usually would call HIM to do. I had this. Yes, day two was going fine and dandy until I got home from work and discovered that the dog had dug up the corpses and rolled in the mess again. Let’s just agree once more, without all the gory details, that rat guts on the second day in 90 degree heat smell neither fine nor dandy. HE no longer works out of town, but we do occasionally take separate vacations. HE has a bucket list which includes watching a baseball game in every stadium in the good old USA. Although I like baseball, I don’t like it THAT much, so I am staying home with Barney the Chihuahua and 16 elderly laying hens. (Don’t tell HIM, but it is really a vacation for me, too.) I wasn’t worried. There are no rats around here, the mice don’t usually move in until fall, and my only job besides my regular job is to drive to our cabin and turn on the bilge pump in the boat in case it rains. The road to get there is one of those “minimum maintenance” Forestry roads, which really means NO maintenance, but I can make it with my all wheel drive unless it is really wet. Waving goodbye the morning he left, I headed for the necessary room and back to my bed. Except…the toilet broke. Not the first day or even the first hour, but the first minute he was gone. Just my luck. Thankfully, I know how to turn off the water and we have a second bathroom. Heck, we even have an outhouse in the back yard, and they don’t break…do they? No worries here. No worries except that ever since HE left, the heavens have opened up every day and we have had torrential rains. The lightening and thunder each night makes Barney bark, and I have had little sleep. The bilge pump has been run and will need to be run again soon. The road to the cabin is a sea of slippery muck and deep potholes, and I’m afraid to look in the basement because I know it will be wet, which will involve more work. I hope HIS vacation is going well. Mine? Not so great, but thanks for asking. Don’t worry though, I’m muddling through.