I have often said that life is so much funnier than anything I could have made up. This is an actual email that I sent earlier today:
Dear Customer Service:
I recently received an offer via email for a “Garden Grab Bag”. I have a rather large outdoor area to cover, and didn’t much care what I planted there, so I thought “Why not?” and ordered two, figuring no matter what you sent, I would be able to fill in the area. Flowers or greenery, it didn’t matter to me, and I thought $49.95 including shipping was a bargain. According to your email, plants for my zone would be sent. I live in zone 3.
Today, I received my grab bags. I excitedly tore open the box, pulling out ten nice-sized plants. the first two were blueberries. Good choice, since I had ordered some earlier from you and I’m pleased to get more. The next two were bamboo. (Phyllostachys aureosulcata). These are supposed to be somewhat cold hardy, but I guarantee that if planted outside, they will be killed by our 40 below winters. Yup. That’s 40. Below zero. This made me wonder why you sent me FOUR banana plants. (Musa basjoo). These are “cold hardy to 0 or even 15 below” according to my internet search. (In true grab bag style, there were no planting instructions included). I am still laughing at why with all the outdoor plants you have, you would choose banana plants and send them to an address in northern Minnesota. One I could make into a houseplant, but FOUR? The next two plants are Alocasia amazonica. This is Minnesotica, not Amazonica. Obviously a tropical plant, also. There are two of those, so I guess these too will have to become houseplants after I spend another $49.95 purchasing containers for them.
I do realize that a grab bag is a grab bag, but I have certainly learned a lesson and will not be purchasing any more. Interestingly enough, I purchased a Saskatoon berry plant from you, which should have been planted right about now. I received notice from you that the Saskatoon will not be delivered until “optimal planting time” for my area, which your company thinks is sometime in September. Not. Please cancel that order. Saskatoons were bred in Canada and tolerate 40 below winters, in fact they thrive on them. I’ll bet your Florida grab bag customers got several Saskatoons sent to them. If they return any, please send them my way.
Sincerely,
The Minnesota Farm Woman
(Writing from the tropics of northern Minnesota, where it is 61 degrees ABOVE zero as I am writing this)
Oh – this is funny! I wonder if you’ll get a reply!
http://farmhousewife.blogpsot.com
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They haven’t replied yet. :o) Thanks for reading!
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Thank you once again for the laugh!
Tracey
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You’re welcome! Thanks for reading
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o my, this sounds about my experience with the miniature saplings that were alleged trees from the national arbor day foundation!!! they said they wud send them at optimal planting time and they sent them after there was sno on the ground for about a month… really??? what optimal time is that??? u cannot plant ANYTHING once the ground is frozen solid.. duh…o, and the free trees never showed up till i complained… also, well after the ground was frozen! lol… they ended up returning my money after i told them that TWO had survived the winter and told them that i wud take pictures of EVERY single dead tree….hahaha…
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Doesn’t that just make you so mad? My banana trees are doing well….outside. I have found good homes for two of them, and will probably keep the other two in my dining room.
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