The Minnesota Farm Woman

I’m on a diet again….or perhaps I should say “still”.  It seems like I’ve spent much of my adult life on one diet or another, but this time I should get a medal for bravery because I started it before instead of after the holiday season, just to shake things up a bit. Speaking of shake, there are plenty of diets to choose from, including drinking shakes instead of meals. If you like to chew your food, you can take an around the world dieting cruise, so to speak.  There’s the LA, the Scarsdale, the Beverly Hills, the Park Avenue, or the Martha’s Vineyard diets to choose from. You could even become a world traveler by following the African Mango, the Mediterranean, the Okinawa, or even the Shangra-La diet.  You could make a total lifestyle change, or follow the 3-Day, 4-Day, the 17-Day, or if you are in a hurry, the 3-Hour diet.  If you like certain foods, you could try the Cabbage Soup, Fast Food, Slow Food, Raw Food, Lemonade, Banana, Cookie, Rice, or even the Fruit Flush Diet. I think I would like to try a 3-Hour combo and have some slow-cooked cabbage soup with rice, a banana cookie and a glass of lemonade, please. If I tire of those, I could follow a Macrobiotic, Probiotic, Apple Cider Vinegar, Olive Oil, or Coconut Oil diet.  Meat eaters would probably like a high protein Cave Man diet. Too much meat?  How about Vegan, Vegetarian, Flexitarian, Pescetarian, or Kangatarian?  Yes, I fear the Kangatarian diet is exactly as it sounds. It probably tastes like chicken.  If following doctor’s orders is more up your alley, you could check out the diets of Doctors Adkins, Hay, Weil, Scarsdale, Phil, or Oz.  Although cutie-pie type diets aren’t really my cup of tea, perhaps the P.I.N.K. diet may work for you, if you can get past the “K” standing for “Kardio”.  Too kute for words. I would more likely get into the Cheaters Diet, the Cinch Diet, or even the Hallelujah Diet, but have been on so many, I could perhaps develop one of my own.  I think The Minnesota Farm Woman’s Freeze Your Buns Off diet could become wildly successful.  You can eat absolutely anything you want whenever you want, as long as it is consumed standing on the front porch in a bikini. You would lose lots of weight and perhaps a few neighbors, too.  Eat, drink, and be merry this holiday season, and I’ll see the rest of my fellow dieters on New Year’s Day.

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