The Minnesota Farm Woman

Admittedly, we watch a lot of television. We have four TVs in our house. Yes, four. Don’t judge. Three are of the flat screen variety, and one old dinosaur in the guest bedroom is fat instead of flat and has both a VCR and DVD player in his belly. When we purchased it, it was top of the line. It is now pretty close to the bottom and will soon be replaced by something called a Smart TV. Apparently, a Smart TV is a hybrid TV that is a cross between a TV and a computer. It allows you to use apps and stream movies, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it baked and spit out a pizza on movie night. I am of that certain age who remembers the TV repairman coming to our house, or at least, carrying the “guts” of the black and white console TV in to the repair shop. Some families even had a huge console in their living room that had a TV, HiFi record player, and even a bar inside! Talk about kitschy. Televisions today are more or less disposable, and really, not that expensive. Our camper, which is kind of kitschy itself since it practically screams the style and colors of the 1990’s, came with two TVs. Both are small, boxy, and practically useless, since neither is digital and each would require a converter box to even get regular channels, which here in the north woods would number about two. A friend gave us a smaller used flat screen television to replace them, but no matter how I tried, the screen stayed locked on channel two. Are you counting? We are now up to SEVEN TVs, and you can add one more, as I just bought number eight yesterday. Number eight will replace numbers five, six, and seven in the camper. It is not a Smart TV, but by adding a little module attached to the plug in the back, it miraculously becomes one. I know this, not because I’m smart, but because I asked for directions. Sadly, gone are the days when you can plug it in, attach a cable or antenna wire, and turn it on. I now had to add a Smart Antenna that sticks on the window as well as the little miracle module, figure out how everything worked, and program in all my passwords for everything as well as scan for local channels. (Zero, since I am parked in the trees.) After blood, sweat, and a few naughty words, I was done, and it only took one weekend afternoon and half of another! I was tempted to stay in the camper and watch a little TV, but the sun was shining, and only a crazy woman would spend a beautiful Sunday afternoon sitting in a camper in her driveway watching TV, right? OK, I stayed for just one program, and frankly, was kind of waiting for it to mix me a cocktail . After all that, I deserved it.