“If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.” ~ Unknown
HE and I, along with our canine tagalong Barney the Chihuahua, just returned from our 40th wedding anniversary trip in our vintage motorhome. We drove 2500 miles, saw six states, one provence, three Great Lakes, big cities and small towns, interstate highways, gravel roads, and a LOT of road construction. He did all the driving, of course, as I have no interest in driving that Big Girl and my navigational skills are limited to finding my way around the block as long as it isn’t raining or dark, as my eyesight isn’t that great. I’ve also been noticing for the last couple of years that my hearing is not as good as it used to be, either. His is just as bad, but HE won’t admit it. I have a harder time hearing when there is background noise, such as the wind blowing in my right ear (the large windows help it stay nice and cool in the motorhome without the a/c and saves a little on the dismal gas mileage) or continuous 1970’s rock music playing loudly in my left ear. (Loudly because HE can’t hear it, especially with the wind blowing in his left ear, but won’t admit it, even if you ask him.) Honestly, I learned to tune him out for a lot of the trip, because he would mumble something, I would ask “What did you say?” and HE would tell me he was either talking to himself or to the dog. It was just as well, as while travelling, I often have my nose in a good book or watch a movie on the DVR player. I had brought along several favorite movies, headphones, and earbuds. I had just settled in to watch one when I realized that the headphones didn’t take away the sound of the wind blowing in my right ear and the continuous 1970’s rock music playing in my left ear. I swiched to the ear buds and turned the volume up LOUD. Ah, that did it. HE was looking at me by then. I could see his lips moving, but due to the ear buds I could only hear muffled sounds coming from his mouth. “What?” I asked, pulling out the buds. HE wanted to carry on a conversation NOW? “What did you say?” Now he started speaking LOUDLY, and very slooowly, like I was not only deaf, but not very bright, either. I have a couple of small bits of advice here for all of you newlyweds. Take it from an old Farm Woman married 40 years: Sometimes it pays to keep your mouth shut, put your earbuds in, and turn the volume up. It saves on arguments. And later, when you are sitting in front of the campfire on your anniversary trip, he will look at you over the crackling flames and say, “I love you, Dear.” At least I think that’s what he said. Maybe it was “I’d love a beer.” Either way, I want to wish a happy anniversary to my husband. I’m glad we’re travelling this road together. Thanks for being you…and HIM. I’d love a beer, too.
The Minnesota Farm Woman 