The Minnesota Farm Woman

We recently took our annual anniversary road trip. Last year I suspected something was going on, but this year I was certain that HE, my husband of 39 years, had another woman  in his life. I knew it to be true when the computerized female voice on the GPS unit said “In point seven miles, turn right”, and he said “Yes, dear.” When she directed him to “Turn right here”,  HE answered (and quite cheerfully, I might add) “I heard you, Baby.” Baby? And right in front of me, too!  After driving to our hotel in downtown Cleveland, Ohio, with HER directions and HIS answers for every twist and turn, I accused him of talking to her more than he talks to me. What’s worse, he wasn’t crabby to her at all.  I try to be a helpful navigator when we take our trips, even though most of the time I can’t find my way out of a wet paper bag on a rainy day.  I just don’t understand it. For some reason, HE never says “Yes, dear” to me when I offer helpful directions, comments about the speed limit,  possible missed turns, and gentle reminders of the red lights coming up ahead. In fact, if the truth REALLY were to be told, HE can be quite the old grouch. Sheesh. At least this other woman has a little bit of maturity on her, thank goodness, which is probably why she is not quite up to date on her maps or directions. At one point, she had us going around in circles in downtown St. Louis, Missouri, so he promptly pulled the plug to stop the persistant “Turn around when able” to shut her up. I almost pointed out the red light ahead and the fact that HE might miss it because he was going too fast, but thought better of it and kept my mouth shut. The 39th annual anniversary road trip was really nice, and I don’t want the plug pulled before the 40th.