The Minnesota Farm Woman

I will be the first to admit that I watch way too much television during the winter months. Besides classic movies and cooking shows, I love to watch people on the hunt for their dream houses. Using my DVR, which is the next best thing to chocolate, I can record any number of these shows and find out how the rest of the world lives and watch them any time I want to. I’ve discovered why the rest of the world laughs at Americans. Here a couple of typical scenarios: A young couple in their twenties are lucky enough to have a chance to live in Paris for a few years. Their monthly budget is more than I would ever dream of in my lifetime, even if I wanted to work overtime every single day plus holidays, which I don’t. They walk into the quaint little Parisian flat and with a disdainful look around the kitchen say, “This is way too small, and the entire room needs to be gutted. Where are the granite countertops and stainless steel appliances?” Or a recently retired couple who are looking to downsize. They appear to be years younger than we are and I admit to being more than a little jealous and wonder just how they managed to retire while paying for their current palatial home in the suburbs. Their idea of downsizing is a 5000 square foot home with four bedrooms, room to entertain, and (you guessed it) granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. Some folks are even looking for vacation homes in countries with armed guards at every corner just so they can have a oceanfront view but insist on modern conveniences while the poorest of the poor exist just down the road. Maybe the shows are staged, and maybe they’re not. I am a little naive and tend to believe everything just because it is shown on TV. I am going to offer a suggestion to the producers of these programs. Show us some real Americans on real budgets. Show us how to squeeze a family of five with two dogs and a gerbil into 1200 square feet and one bathroom. Show us a retired couple downsizing so they can afford to pay their property taxes on what they earn from Social Security. Show us city neighborhoods, simple country cottages and farm houses. Show us the real world. I am living in my dream house right now. Our home is what those TV people would call “tight”. It is the perfect word that not only describes our square footage but also our budget. I can hear the horrified gasps from here, but my appliances are white. My kitchen cabinets are from the mid-century before mid-century became a popular catch-phrase, and they will be refinished when I have the time. Right now they have bumps and bruises and plenty of character. Our dining room is painted bright yellow to ward off the winter blues, and right now there are dinosaur stickers all over the front window. Thankfully, there will be no television crews at my house any time soon…at least I hope not.