The Minnesota Farm Woman

When it comes to time, there are three types of people in this world:  Those who are always early, those who are always on time, and those who are always late.  Those of you who are always late can drive those of us who are always early a little crazy.  The fact that we are always early for everything probably means that we are just a little bit crazy anyway. I am one of those early people who is happily married (most of the time) to a man who is an on-time person.  Let’s say, for example, that we are supposed to meet friends for dinner at 6:00 p.m. at a restaurant which is a 15 minute drive from our home.  At 5:00 p.m., I am putting the finishing touches on my hair and makeup.  He is watching television, dressed in shorts and an old t-shirt.  At 5:15, I am sitting with him, tapping my fingers nervously. “Aren’t you going to get ready? You know we have to be there at 6:00,” I’ll say. His answer is always the same:  “Yep.”  At 5:30 p.m., I am ready to go.  Yes, it is only a 15 minute drive, but what if we have a car trouble/get lost/have a flat tire?  My finger tapping increases, partly because I can’t help it, partly because I think it will get him up and moving. It doesn’t.  At 5:43 p.m., he sighs, puts down the remote, and heads to the bedroom to change, emerging at precisely 5:46, giving us exactly one minute to get to the car and only 15 minutes to make the 15 minute drive to the restaurant.  But what if we have car trouble/get lost/have a flat tire?  Well, we never have.  If I were going to dinner without him, I would have left the house with plenty of time to spare, then waited in the restaurant lobby, nervously tapping my fingers and waiting for the others to arrive. I spend a lot of time waiting. Thank goodness for cell phone games.  They are really helping me to get rid of that nervous finger tapping habit that I have.  Now for the other early birds who have friends or spouses who are always late, I can only give you one word of advice:  Lie.  Tell them that the appointment is 30 minutes earlier than it really is. It is very important, however, to remember the correct time of the appointment, or you will most certainly drive yourself crazy by getting ready even earlier for something that you were already getting ready early for. Make sense? No? Don’t worry about it. You can’t fix them any more than you can fix yourself for being early. They will probably be late for their own funerals.  I don’t know about you, but I really hope that  I’m not too early for mine.