The Minnesota Farm Woman

People often ask me how I come up with ideas for my column and internet blog week after week.  It’s very easy when something hilarious or thought-provoking happens and then the words just seem to come out  faster than my fingers can type them on the keyboard. Most days, though, my life is neither hilarious or thought-provoking. For the most part, it is everyday boring stuff like work, fixing dinner, feeding chickens and watching reruns of Law and Order: SVU while trying not to doze off before 10 p.m.  On these days it is harder to come up with a subject that will both pique your interest and make you smile.  This is one of those days, so I thought I might write about the top ten things you will NEVER see in this column or my blog.

1)  The Cell Phone:  Why I love hearing you talk to your sister about your mother’s hemorrhoidectomy and the fight with your boyfriend while we are in line at the grocery store.

2)  Housekeeping Tips:  How dusting and vacuuming made me a happier person and how I get my floors to shine.

3) Women and Shoes:  Why three pairs are enough for anyone.

4) Chocolate: You CAN live without it!

5) The Art of Conversation: How to have long and meaningful discussions with your husband after 34 years of wedded bliss.

6) Gardening Tips:  Weeds? What weeds?

7)  Gardening Tips II: Why there is no such thing as too much zucchini.

8)  Controlling the Remote:  Tips for getting your man to give it up.

9) April Showers Minnesota Style:  Why I love snowstorms in the spring, especially if I have already planted lettuce and radishes.

10) Lutefisk:  Great new recipes using everyone’s favorite fish.

That’s it for this week. Now, on to the long and meaningful conversation with my husband……NOT! Remember, this is my life. The chickens are fed, dinner’s in the oven, and  there’s a Law and Order: SVU marathon on TV this afternoon, and it is calling my name. I have my own remote.